- Perks of Being A Wallflower
This is real random. But it is late at night and I am procrastinating sleep.
Lately I’ve been having the most horrendous nightmares. I’m not talking about being chased, or being beaten to death by your parents, or falling off a cliff and then watching wolves rip your body to pieces, kind of nightmares. I’ve had those and I’ve learned to cope. These nightmares lately are of the most disturbing nature. And I can’t even tell you what they’re about because I can’t remember. But every night I’ve been waking up curled in a ball with tears streaming down my face and I feel as though I’m going to be sick. I curl up in a ball and just feel so disgusted with what I’ve dreamed up and then as soon as I move, I forget the dream. But I know that they’re awful enough to wake me up feeling sick to my stomach.
I think that I may be experiencing a form of anxiety as I sleep. I have reason enough to have panic attacks, but for some reason, I’ve been lucky enough that they haven’t returned. I had quite a few during college. Of course I had no idea what was wrong with me. I would just suddenly have the need to shut myself in a closet and hyperventilate and cry and tear my hair out. That’s normal right…? WRONG! So I think this might be my new natural response to stress and all the chaos that has recently made an appearance in my life. I’m not sure if anyone else goes through this, but lucky for me, I have THE INTERNET! Perhaps I will do some research on the matter.
But for now, it’s just a theory.